2008. Yay. No, really. Yay.
Monday, December 31st, 2007Hello Idiots(with a capital I).
Right, so it’s 2008 already. Yay. I’m so excited I poo-ed a little.
So what have I learned in the past year? Since I so very much enjoy making angry, rambling lists, I’m gonna treat all of you Idiots out there to another one of my awe-inspiring lists.
I have learned that :
1. Idiots are everywhere, so I’m not going to call people "people" anymore. I’m gonna call them Idiots. The official scientific term for the species formerly known as Homo Sapiens is now Homo Plumbeus. That’s Latin. Go look it up. If you can’t find out what it means, then you are definitely a Homo Plumbeus.
2. Drivers in Malaysia, especially in Shah Alam, are the biggest Idiots of them all. One wonders how they ever obtained their driving licenses. Well, I have a theory.
They probably bribed their examiners with :
a. Money
b. A Blowjob
c. Both
I personally think the answer is (c). And that goes for both men and women. You fucking cocksuckers, I wish you all of would get off the fucking roads and hang yourselves with a thin nylon rope so that it cuts into your skin and you die slowly. I also hope your children walk into the room while you die. And then I hope your children will die, too. It would be a crime for you to reproduce, because your offspring will be degenerate assholes like you.
3. Mat Rempit are in a totally different class. I would call them Super Idiots. I wish I had a pet Mat Rempit to torture. I would inject their veins with air and watch them have aneurysms. Gosh, wouldn’t that be fun? I get giddy just thinking about it.
4. I have ZERO TOLERANCE for stupidity.
I wanted to make this list longer, but it’s 4.33am and I’m tired. My new year’s resolution is to be as much of a jerk as is humanly possible, and try my best to instill fear in all you Idiots out there.
I am, however, looking forward to one thing. And that is starting a new life real soon with my lovely and beautiful Ayeen.
So, with that, have a miserable New Year, Idiots!
PS - An education really does wonders. Try it.